Freaky Deaky Elephant Sex

At this moment I couldn't be more proud of being a St. Louisan. We have been first in STDs for quite some time, but I was disappointed that it was limited to one species. No longer. At least two of the elephants have contracted herpes.

Now I have not actually seen an elephantine cold sore, but as the largest land mammal I am sure that they are impressive.

Of course the first step in prevention is education. I am sure that the zoo keepers have been showing Power Point presentation with overly disgusting photos of untreated and rampant festering sores. There are probably uncomfortable questions from the younger elephants.

"If I just give him some trunk, can I catch it?"

"I'm dating a giraffe that hasn't had syptoms in two years. Is she still contagious?"

"Do Trojans come in extra, extra, extra, extra large?"

I just pray that the next step is not pachyderm pap smears.

Mayor Slay is a Whiney Baby

I am sick of hearing Francis whine about the stimulus check. For some reason I get the distinct feeling that it just an outlandish performance orchestrated to make him look caring for the primary election.

It is nearly as fake as him walking into the sunset with a homeless vet.

I understand the need to be a politician, but St. Louis is facing so many real problems. Why is mayor still searching for photo opportunities. Maybe he could demand that Ballpark Pit be filled with something other than a rancid pond. Perhaps he should stop trying to dismantle the public school system and work with what he has instead of setting up his cronies with charter schools.

We don't need the stimulus money. The last time I checked there is a major highway reconstruction going on. I also seem to recall the state footing a good portion of the bill for the arhitectural blight known as Busch Stadium.

Mayor Slay you need to stop whining and do something other than run for office.